Twenty Twenty One Template - Granta Magazine

Twenty Twenty One Template

caroline crampton

When one develops a new template it behooves one to smoke test it.

Eventually, you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right? Just my luck, no ice. You’re a very talented young man, with your own clever thoughts and ideas. Do you need a manager? You really think you can fly that thing? Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.

Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend. Must go faster… go, go, go, go, go! So you two dig up, dig up dinosaurs?

You know what? It is beets. I’ve crashed into a beet truck. Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists. Do you have any idea how long it takes those cups to decompose. Life finds a way. Must go faster… go, go, go, go, go!

My dad once told me, laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry, and I’ll give you something to cry about you little bastard! Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.

Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine? Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. You’re a very talented young man, with your own clever thoughts and ideas. Do you need a manager?

Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend. Did he just throw my cat out of the window? I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers. They’re using our own satellites against us. And the clock is ticking.

You really think you can fly that thing? Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. Forget the fat lady! You’re obsessed with the fat lady! Drive us out of here! Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

My dad once told me, laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry, and I’ll give you something to cry about you little bastard! I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. You’re a very talented young man, with your own clever thoughts and ideas. Do you need a manager?

Must go faster… go, go, go, go, go! Checkmate… You know what? It is beets. I’ve crashed into a beet truck. Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. Did he just throw my cat out of the window? You know what? It is beets. I’ve crashed into a beet truck.

!-!-!-!

Eventually, you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right? I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. Must go faster. Yes, Yes, without the oops! You really think you can fly that thing? I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus.

God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers. Jaguar shark! So tell me – does it really exist? Must go faster. I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine? I was part of something special.

Jaguar shark! So tell me – does it really exist? Did he just throw my cat out of the window? Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. Hey, take a look at the earthlings. Goodbye!

We gotta burn the rain forest, dump toxic waste, pollute the air, and rip up the OZONE! ‘Cause maybe if we screw up this planet enough, they won’t want it anymore! Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

Must go faster. God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers. You’re a very talented young man, with your own clever thoughts and ideas. Do you need a manager? Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend. Eventually, you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?

caroline crampton

Caroline Crampton is a writer and editor who contributes regularly to the Guardian, the Mail on Sunday and the New Humanist. She has appeared as a broadcaster on Newsnight, Sky News and BBC Radio 4. This is her first book.

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